Solutions to relationship problems

I guess some young people might have asked themselves this question time without number, due to the orientation given to them by their parents or teachers, while on the other hand the real world is quite in the opposite direction. Left for me I should say that often times our curiosity which is a thing of the mind propels us to investigate things we don’t understand in other to make new discoveries or just to get the right answers to our questions. I know that most of us came from a Christian background or we had a good moral upbringing where sex and anything that has to do with intimacy are not to be discussed at least openly.

This gets us to our topic about sex before marriage I know they didn’t use the right tone, medium or friendly manner to tell you in details why they said so, oh sorry why the bible said so and am going to take you through a life event so you can now know why they said to wait until after marriage (nicely).

Why # 1

Incidentally, most times such act of sex done at least for the first time are dangerous, the reason is that either you just decided to give a trial or you just succumbed to pressure. For the records, circumstances and the environment where it is done are not conducive for instance, either at the back of a boyfriend’s car, in a friend’s houses after a party, in a motel, or with a hooker etc.

I know some us are now walking down some memory lane and the resultant effect or the aftermath of such acts. I once met a girl who was heart broken by her first love; she had a good Christian and moral background but loving this guy now meant the whole world to her than her moral values. I guess some of us have heard things like, “If we don’t do it (sex) I will have to walk away (breakup). To cut the whole thing short she gave in and he didn’t break up with her rather he broke her into bits and pieces and eventually walked away leaving her shattered.

Now let’s say it was done at the back of his car it must have been a quickie one (fast one) and painful one because his focus was not on her rather his head is in his dick (sorry about that one). Also the risk of been spotted out by anyone who happens to come around and come to think of it, even if had a condom this is a higher possibility that he wouldn’t use it.

Back to the story, months later, missing periods could only point towards one possible direction given the fact that there was an unprotected sex; pregnancy. Don’t even think of an abortion, its risks are higher and you don’t want to do that because one wrong step begat another.There could also be the risks of contracting HIV/AIDS, and other sexually transmitted diseases.

Why # 2

Don’t expect a guy who slept with you at the back of his car or in a motel to tell how sweet you are or cuddle you. You would not get a sense of security from him like; “This is just a good beginning of great things to come” or “That we are meant for each other”. You know what this means? It means disrespect to you, to your personality and womanhood. Now where will your honor be after he might have horridly dropped you back a block to your house, reason being that you wouldn’t want your folks know that you have a boyfriend or hell’s going to let loose.

Being a single mother or father was not what she bargained for I guess reality sets in, questions begins to pop in like, “How am I going to face my parents?” “Am I going to drop out of school? ´” Now the relevance of education dawns on her. Financial questions come to play, questions like; “How am I going to pay my bills?” I don’t have a job even if I do will it be enough? This list is endless. Did I forget to mention that her circle of friends will definitely change? In a twinkling of an eye life’s dimension will shift into the next phase for you while he walks away to college to get a degree and you will drop out to take care of his child. Sweetheart it doesn’t worth it not until you are ready.

Why # 3

Back to my friends story this single experience turned her into a resentful, bitter, revengeful, sad mad black woman (sorry folks, didn’t mean it that way). Every became a devil to her ( I don’t know what to call her) and she has hurt a lot men all in the name of a subconscious revenge and with this destroying herself the more. Now she is ready to get married, she now has to work on herself to get rid of low self esteem which has made her not to be bold and confident of herself when in the mist of other people. You may call this being shy but folks I call it timidity period. These are the psychological effect such act can have on you.

Interestingly, these where the things God saw and made us to know through His word not to engage in the act of sex before marriage. Not that He is stopping us from having fun after all He created us and He put these sensational buttons in and on us. Remember, He is a loving father; He doesn’t derive joy seeing us shattered rather He wants us to be happy.

At this point, if you had been or in the same position as my friend, God can change anything only if you ask him to come into your life. He will because He is an expert in making ugly things and situations beautiful again just give Him a trial.